Writers Block ( Ceilings )

Writers Block is the worst.
Hard to reach for the stars when you can see a ceiling.
It's stifling.
Life lessons wrapped in words of eloquence to inspire those who could become Presidents.
Or even to entice minds on the decline so even one fallen from grace can relate.
I'll provide the escape.
The getaway from hurt feelings, misdealings, and empty promises without meaning,

I just need to break this ceiling.
Break this self-made barricade so thoughts can elevate to a higher state.
And I don't need Mary Jane.
I mean Mary J by the way it's 'Real Love' when my pen strokes the page.
The way it's real blood that flows through my veins.

If my creativity should die before I arise, I'll put my soul in the clouds and write verses in the sky.
Future philosophers can sit around and debate the translation.
My presence will still be felt regardless of my bodies location.

What ceilings??

Mental Cardio

Dim room with one candle lit.
Mind running laps. Mental Cardio - can I handle it?
Pretty girl, naked in my bed, drenched in warm sweat.
It's gonna break her heart when I tell her that it's just sex.
Raindrops; symbolic of the Love people falling in.
You givin 'em your heart. I'm still givin these chicks Latex.
What?! At least it's safe sex; no protection for your mindset.

Mental Cardio - Let's move on to the next set.

I love her, she loves me not. That puts me in a strange spot.
Never been the type to ride bench. She asked me to. That's nonsense!
Haven't moved since...this ain't me. She ain't HER but this ain't 'WE'.
And it's not just the sex. I mean, the sex is where it's at. It's the way we conversate and relax that attracts.
I wanna be where you're at -- consistent basis and all that. Let me know what's the deal and we can get this thing on track.

Brightly lit room. Lights on...yo, where is this chick?!
She's playing mind games. Mental Cardio -- I can't STAND this shit. 
Heartstrings; tugging them. Imma violin to this vixen. Playing me for a fool.
Gaming me with no intentions.
In love with me when you're with me but forget me when a text comes.
I'm blind to that, though. Might as well be fuckin deaf, dumb.
Guess that's why I'm dressed up to be stood up on a whim now.

Mental Cardio -- Think I'm tired of running game. Wow.

Inner Beast [Short]

I keep the surface calm but underneath lies a beast from the deepest recesses.
Keeps me hungry and aggressive.
Exterior is lax while my mind is on a mission - Search and Destroy those who would cause me opposition.
It's position is one of Power and it's attitude is sour so weak souls with weak goals will only get devoured.
Careful what you wish for; people always wanna know the depth of me but what's beneath the waves isn't necessarily the best of me.
Always cooking up storms -- but you'll never get the recipe.
Top shelf thoughts..... so only a few can grasp, except for me.

Especially those brave enough to dive in. I can guarantee intrigue but not you surviving.

Escape into Words

Another escape into Words...

And I don't mean Microsoft.
Though it wouldn't hurt to Excel my Spreadsheet into Powerpoints and produce more Works.

Pen flirts with paper leaving ink to savor the words of a fallen Savior.
Talk is cheap and I still couldn't buy the words needed to save her.
Lady Luck left so what the fuck am I left with?
Two left feet...makes it awkward to step with

Right on the edge of Defeat and dark thoughts.
Distraught at my lack of progress. That's my fault.

Yet I'm still under assault from undercover enemies with faith in my failure yet no heart to believe in me.

Apart from all that, I'm cool! Still smirk as I lace my shoes. Still plenty of souls to soothe with the well placed words I use.

They're mad that I still play by, but break, their rules. These fools..

You keep getting by by getting high. Oh no, not I.
Keep going the way of the birds. I have my own escape.
I'll mess with these words.

Loveless Verses

You want the answers to questions I don’t have and may never.  All I offer is condolences and hopes that it gets better.

 The sun falls on the East but then rises on the West. Just because you didn’t get chosen doesn’t mean that you’re not next.  But you’re not MY next and you’re not MY ex.

No titles exchanged to explain or take out of context.

But all you want is a text.

A confession of unbridled love I can type out but never send.  All I can offer is soft words and rough sex.

You’re a mess. Hair wild from sleepless nights with tear stained cheeks as you type. “It’s Okay. I understand” But you don’t, even though I’m right.

Our love wasn’t meant to exist but you made the choice to birth it.

Now you’re nursing a wounded heart and a fractured Dream. Was I worth it?

I can’t love you back and that doesn’t mean you’re worthless.

And I can’t convey your love, but I can use your pain in my Verses.

Daylight

This darkness does me no favors as I lay in its embrace. It’s the quiet that I savor.

Cold nights and solitude for my thoughts to surround me. My life gets crazy so I need my mind to ground me.

Soothe me in logic as I dream about the illogical. Dreams of conquest make my ambition probable.

I can be my own problem;  but that doesn’t make me solvable.  So it makes no sense to even go on involving you.

Hands soaked in Sin so what I look like Absolving you? A couple ‘Amens’ from a couple friends with bad intentions.

The type that’ll make you wild out to get attention. Tearing up the foundation until you’re forced to see my visions.

Retention turns to remission. You’re forgetting what you’re taught now.

Forgetting how you came up but hating how you were brought down.

Oppressed opinions from cheap minions and condescending critics who tell you how to live but talk about it like they did it. Fuck 'em.

Pushed to the limit of sanity while spewing profanity at myself in a cracked mirror, yet still being accused of vanity.

I’ll just lay down in this darkness, breathe deep, and take it light. And if there’s still mercy in this world, I’ll awake to Daylight.

Happy Birthday

I broke up with her on her day of birth.
She tried to hold in her cries, that only made it worse.
Tears fell from her eyes to saturate the Earth
First bad break will make you second guess your worth.
Three shots in of Gin, chasing it down with Four Lokos.
Sent some drunk text and then switched it up to SoCo.
Now she can't hold it in and let's it out. Oh no!

Chronicles of pain; you just gotta know when to lay off.
And Karma's not picky, she'll still hit you on your day off.
Merciless Mistress, they say Karma is a bitch
but if you treat her right, she knows how to make you rich.
...but no amount of moping will bring back that one that you miss.

Dark rooms and slow songs; yeah, you're in the zone now.
Old pictures in a new phone;  the past is what you call 'Home' now.
Depressed and anxious, you miss my love in the worst way.
But you'll never get it back. Sorry, love.

Happy Birthday.