Childhood Ignorance

That childhood ignorance is what I miss. Where I could afford to make petty mistakes, scrape knees, and laugh in pure bliss. Unaware of future consequences or cold pretenses, I could live in that moment and be happy. I knew the purest love I’d ever known then. The slightly cold bath was so that I wasn’t burned. The hot food was to keep me nourished, never earned. Every gift a surprises, even those I may not have deserved. Words were never enough, so I kept mine short when around elders. Being polite got me rewarded; speech was simple, never contorted. A sense of security where a smile was genuine;  no underlying dagger behind the back with mistrust and malice. Then again, all of these things were there. I was allowed to exist in my bubble because of my age, believing the world was fair! Hateful, cold, untrusting, diabolical, and ruthless without a care! I have money in my pocket but despite that fact; no amount in the world could buy that childhood ignorance back.

Follow Suit ( That Damn Foot )

If I took one step forward, then I’m approaching my future. It’s just moving that damn other foot to follow suit. I got a lot of distractions and reactions from my past. That’s where most of my experience has taken root. I’ve advanced in age in the ways of a Sage, and I’ve set my own stage to boot. Nowhere near my last Act; still don’t know how to act. 

I’ve added my cents and divided my sense, so there’s not much left to do but subtract.

 Subtract the fears of progressions.

 Subtract the tears of regression.

 Subtract the years of distrust, hate, and anger I’ve held waiting for a timely confession. 

How many times will I allow the sands of opportunity to slide through my fingers like the softest silk? I’ve rather relish the sweet caress of success than be that fearful bird hesitant to leave the nest. I’ve made up my mind to approach life in stride; confidently strapping on my boots. Put my right in front of my left and took the first step. It’s just moving that damn other foot to follow suit.

"My Saint"

There is no stairway to Heaven for me. It’s been removed along with any semblance of a signal to be used. I’ve burned my white flags so surrender isn’t an option. Instead I’m opting for the path less chosen, heart frozen. It would have been easy to submit to your whims. Oppress me with your faith while you press me with your flesh. I won’t object or contest. Cross snugged comfortably between the cleavage of your breast, dangling from that necklace.

 A sinner in the path of a Saint.

 Will you save me? Will you smite me?

Or do you like me? And do you still say those prayers for me nightly? I dare not say anything that comes from between your lips is wasted. But Queen, save those tender words for those with tortured souls and with goals to enter gates yet unseen.  If I find nothing along my path and if you reach a dead end, we’ll meet in each others Heart and laugh. Exchange notes, and start again.

Lost In The Sauce ( Shots )

My eyes are probably bloodshot. Shot from seeing too much too soon and living too fast to be concerned with brakes. 

Shot from the shots of liquor I downed in succession; I never learn my lesson.

 My head pounds as my feet hit the ground, turn around to observe the naked bronze back of a female I met last night working retail. 

See, her hours were 10-6 and she walked through my door around 6 to 10. 

9:54…yeah, sometime around then. 

We turned on a movie then pulled out the bottle. For every problem, a straight shot. She asked for a chaser, and I told her I never would chase her. However, I’d replace her unless she kept the pace up.

 Straight up. One shot.

 Straight up. Two shots.

 Three shots in and all her problems come out. Daddy issues and debts, fake friends and bad sex. I listen intently as a pour another round.

 Straight Up.

 Four Shots, straight to the head. She’s laying in my lap with her face on my legs. I tell her I’ll console her, she cries, ask me to hold her, and now we’re in bed when I find out she’s a moaner.

  Time flies, we hit peaks, she gasp, grips the sheets and now she’s asleep without a worry in mind. She holds my body tight, wraps her legs in mine. We both drift asleep until the story rewinds.

Dream of an Emperor

I’m staring at a blank screen with a blinking cursor. I feel like it’s taunting me. To undertake the daunting task of putting tangible words on top of it like a Sundae. Someday, these words will inspire another King and Queen to desire their own Empire. To construct, look forward past criticism, and create a path of One’s own choosing. All of our pains, past, presents, and experiences echo throughout time and can last past our earthly demise. Immortal is the man that can continue to teach even after his physical body has reached its last Sunrise. Until that time, I want to watch the Sunset over what I’ve created, tip my head in respect at those who didn’t object to my success. Your support helped me build the bridges to those I haven’t yet reached. I may yet inspire peace in lost Souls, or bring them to war within. No holds barred but these cold doors are. The Key to Peace may rest in me. How can I rest when not all of us are free?

Audition

I observed you from afar, just as I observed you then. Except the space between us has diminished since then. What was once a busy street filled with life and traffic has turned into a coffee table and the other side of a love seat. I’ve managed to pull you away from the rest of the world just to inhabit mine for a short time. Your shy smile and dazzling eyes dance in the light of the candle; a waltz I could never hope to intrude upon. We exchange small talk over smaller sips of wine. You intrigue me with your knowledge. Superior to your peers, yet, making me almost inferior because of your confidence. I’m challenged, captivated, and charmed. A strong woman would be an understatement. You’re the embodiment of courage while maintaining the poise and grace unfitting your mere 25 years on this Earth. How could I accommodate you? It’s far too soon for the physical yet I allow my eyes to casually trace your neckline just so you know carnal knowledge is there. Yet, we won’t awaken it tonight. No, tonight is my Audition. There may be a better Leading Man for you, but my pride demands I doubt it. You acknowledge this and your smile broadens. We’re both taken with conversation; the curtain rises.